Things are getting busy in this search, and over the past few days, I've had four different conversations going at once.
First - queen of the cunts and root of the problem. My mother. She continues to not acknowledge my requests or that this situation is occurring at all. It is INFURIATING. I might have asked her if she couldn’t tell me who my father was because she didn’t know. That was met with some serious rage, and apparently I’m inconsiderate and toxic. I might have laughed at her and told her I learned from her. I told her I would take things public if I needed, and had no problem airing her dirty laundry, potentially in a very unflattering way, if she continued to refuse to give me answers. Response? “Ok.” Fine, bitch. It’s on.
Second: Pam. Pam has been a family friend for a long time. She also went to nursing school with my mother. It turns out, my mother graduated nursing school in May 1982. I was born in February 1983. That’s easy math. Pam confirms my mother was married to my non-father at this time, so not only is she a lying ho, she’s a cheating, lying ho. Not much more info right now, but Pam is adequately pissed about my mother’s behavior, and is sharp as a tack. Her memory is great, so there may be more there if I know what I’m looking for.
Third: Becky. My life saver. She is my paternal third cousin and has been building a family tree for over 20 years. She originally led me to her Poth family as our likely link, given shared relatives. Given the proposed relationships among 6 (Scott, Mallory, Lanette, Becky, Dot, and Gregg relatives (shared between both 23andMe and ancestry databases), I am certain of one great grandparent, named Edward Poth. This is the source of the German DNA I wasn’t supposed to have, as he is the son of two German immigrants. Edward had 8 children that survived to adulthood. One of those (Isabelle) is the parent to Scott and grandparent to Mallory. Another (EJ) is the parent of Lanette. I can rule Isabelle and EJ out because I'd be more closely related to Scott or Lanette. Five of the remaining six lived in another part of the state, but one, Mansley, moved right here to my home county.
Mansley had a single known son - Rick. Rick was born and raised in this county and is five years older than my mother. He was married thrice but no known children. I do believe either he or a brother (possibly illegitimate) is my father, given all I currently know. Sadly, given a huge branch of close cousins that are NOT showing up readily on this tree I’ve built (which is getting quite fucking huge), I think I may be looking at either an illegitimate son of Mansley, or Rick may not belong to his mother. Oy vey.
Becky and I got to talking a bit more. She actually is also here in this county. We share two friends on Facebook - one of my former vet techs, (now in vet school), and her mom. Wonderful people, very close with Becky. And then Becky found another link between us. Her daughter married one of my vet school classmates. Small fucking world. So now, Becky seems a bit charged up and really determined to help me figure this shit out.
Fourth: Maxine. She is running neck and neck with Becky for my new favorite cousin. Maxine is a maternal cousin. Now, I have always known my mother's side of the family was pretty fucked up. The stories I could tell would shock you; the stories Maxine knows are worse. Some of these folks are pure, unrefined, white fucking trash. I’ve known this. But not to this extent. Baby swapping, child pregnancies, cousin fucking, loose women. Lots of loose women. Thanks to Maxine, it’s become clear that my maternal side may not be as straightforward as I had hoped. She’s really hung up on the fact that ancestry has us as second cousins, but with what I THINK I know, we should be third. Minor difference, when getting that distant, but I will say, 23andMe has pretty solidly nailed which relatives are maternal, which are paternal, and where they fall on the tree like a god damn art form. For the paternal side I’ve built, assuming Edward Poth is great grandfather, every single branch in that paternal tree, in BOTH ancestry and 23andMe, lines up perfectly with the predicted relationship. It’s really fucking cool how this is all falling into place. But the relationship with Maxine doesn’t jibe with the accuracy of the rest of it.
It’s possible that there was a swap earlier in the family tree. I don't know if Maxine wants some of these disturbing family secrets out for the world to see, but trust me when I say, the evidence is there for a swap. So yeah, this is fucking fun.
First - queen of the cunts and root of the problem. My mother. She continues to not acknowledge my requests or that this situation is occurring at all. It is INFURIATING. I might have asked her if she couldn’t tell me who my father was because she didn’t know. That was met with some serious rage, and apparently I’m inconsiderate and toxic. I might have laughed at her and told her I learned from her. I told her I would take things public if I needed, and had no problem airing her dirty laundry, potentially in a very unflattering way, if she continued to refuse to give me answers. Response? “Ok.” Fine, bitch. It’s on.
Second: Pam. Pam has been a family friend for a long time. She also went to nursing school with my mother. It turns out, my mother graduated nursing school in May 1982. I was born in February 1983. That’s easy math. Pam confirms my mother was married to my non-father at this time, so not only is she a lying ho, she’s a cheating, lying ho. Not much more info right now, but Pam is adequately pissed about my mother’s behavior, and is sharp as a tack. Her memory is great, so there may be more there if I know what I’m looking for.
Third: Becky. My life saver. She is my paternal third cousin and has been building a family tree for over 20 years. She originally led me to her Poth family as our likely link, given shared relatives. Given the proposed relationships among 6 (Scott, Mallory, Lanette, Becky, Dot, and Gregg relatives (shared between both 23andMe and ancestry databases), I am certain of one great grandparent, named Edward Poth. This is the source of the German DNA I wasn’t supposed to have, as he is the son of two German immigrants. Edward had 8 children that survived to adulthood. One of those (Isabelle) is the parent to Scott and grandparent to Mallory. Another (EJ) is the parent of Lanette. I can rule Isabelle and EJ out because I'd be more closely related to Scott or Lanette. Five of the remaining six lived in another part of the state, but one, Mansley, moved right here to my home county.
Mansley had a single known son - Rick. Rick was born and raised in this county and is five years older than my mother. He was married thrice but no known children. I do believe either he or a brother (possibly illegitimate) is my father, given all I currently know. Sadly, given a huge branch of close cousins that are NOT showing up readily on this tree I’ve built (which is getting quite fucking huge), I think I may be looking at either an illegitimate son of Mansley, or Rick may not belong to his mother. Oy vey.
Becky and I got to talking a bit more. She actually is also here in this county. We share two friends on Facebook - one of my former vet techs, (now in vet school), and her mom. Wonderful people, very close with Becky. And then Becky found another link between us. Her daughter married one of my vet school classmates. Small fucking world. So now, Becky seems a bit charged up and really determined to help me figure this shit out.
Fourth: Maxine. She is running neck and neck with Becky for my new favorite cousin. Maxine is a maternal cousin. Now, I have always known my mother's side of the family was pretty fucked up. The stories I could tell would shock you; the stories Maxine knows are worse. Some of these folks are pure, unrefined, white fucking trash. I’ve known this. But not to this extent. Baby swapping, child pregnancies, cousin fucking, loose women. Lots of loose women. Thanks to Maxine, it’s become clear that my maternal side may not be as straightforward as I had hoped. She’s really hung up on the fact that ancestry has us as second cousins, but with what I THINK I know, we should be third. Minor difference, when getting that distant, but I will say, 23andMe has pretty solidly nailed which relatives are maternal, which are paternal, and where they fall on the tree like a god damn art form. For the paternal side I’ve built, assuming Edward Poth is great grandfather, every single branch in that paternal tree, in BOTH ancestry and 23andMe, lines up perfectly with the predicted relationship. It’s really fucking cool how this is all falling into place. But the relationship with Maxine doesn’t jibe with the accuracy of the rest of it.
It’s possible that there was a swap earlier in the family tree. I don't know if Maxine wants some of these disturbing family secrets out for the world to see, but trust me when I say, the evidence is there for a swap. So yeah, this is fucking fun.
OMG I'm dying to read more!!
ReplyDelete