#whosmydaddy

I know it's been a bit since the last update; this one is a good one. My father's results posted Friday. Not surprisingly, his sister and his niece pop up as his family, and nothing seems amiss there. My wonderful grandmother is the honorable lady I knew her to be. But seeing it confirmed that my DNA came from somewhere else was a bit of a kick in the nuts. So that's fun. Dear ol' dad is struggling. He can't seem to wrap his head around things and seems to oscillate between confused acceptance and bargaining. Damn my cuntastic mother for this. A large reason for the existence of this blog is my banishment to Facebook jail for 30 days, though it also is a nice way to chronicle events. My time in the slammer has allowed me a bit more time to get work related things done, though the loss of use of the Facebook messenger has been a bit painful, as I use it often. You see, I reached out to my suspected sperm donor through Facebook messenger maybe 6 weeks ago. Just ...

Not a lot to update recently. My non-biological father sent his DNA off and they have it; results are expected on November 2. Neither my brother's nor my cousin's samples have been received at the lab yet. Doing a little Facebook stalking of the sperm donor, and two of his friends that commented on his recent post share friends with me. One friend is Anna, and I've reached out to her to reach out to her friend about getting in touch with him. I have a phone number I pulled off something online, but don't know if it's a correct number. I loathe calling folks, and this really isn't much of a text conversation....

23andMe is releasing a new traits test, likely to keep up with Ancestry, and the tests just went on sale for $20 less than the normal price. I went ahead and snagged a few, which arrived last week, but I've been too busy to do anything with them. I was talking to my non-biological father today about getting my brother's test to him, and my father asked me if he could take one. Absolutely! Oh, the cuntasaurus is going to be pissed now! He's convinced the error is on his side somehow, even though I explained that that just isn't very likely. Poor guy. The three tests have now been registered and should be submitted soon. One to my non-biological father, one to my little brother, and one to a maternal cousin to see if I can start sorting out some of this weirdness on that side. Speaking of weirdness on the maternal side, here's a new fun fact I gathered. This cousin, John, is the son of Bonnie, who is supposed to be my grandfather's sister, Bonnie. There were...

Late last night, I texted my mother and informed her that my sperm donor was Rick. I thanked her for her assistance, as it really saved me a lot of trouble. I didn't get a reply until this morning. "I had planned to talk with you about all of this once my grief had lifted some with the loss of my sister. I can tell you that I do not know who the person is that you are talking about. I have never seen or talked with them. Unfortunately, once you make up your mind about something it's a done deal." The response I wanted to send was "Well mom, maybe you never saw him or spoke to him, but you sure as shit banged him," but I chose to bite my tongue. Instead I chose to point out that DNA doesn't lie, that she wasn't grieving a month ago when I first asked her, and that she needs to learn to communicate better because it's hard for me to translate "we can talk about this later" from fucking silence. "I was just as shocked about all...

My mind hasn’t really stopped trying to process the information from earlier today. I’ve been working on this Amato tree but getting progressively more frustrated. The existing trees built by others have a wide range of disagreement among them, and the records search is equally frustrating, as a lot of these names are apparently quite common. Many of these suggested records do not actually belong to the person for whom they are suggested, so it’s a lot to wade through.  I found a tree built out by a member of a local Catholic Church for its members. That’s a little weird, but ok. It seems to be one of the more accurate ones, and I reached out to its creator to see if she could help me with the living folks as well as some of the older buildout. I was also curious as to the accuracy of this and how much care was being taken when adding people and records.  She responded to me pretty quickly. She will not release any information on living people, but is willing to help ...

Well now things are getting interesting! I've gotten a few responses back, and now the Amato cousins are starting to make a bit more sense, although I'm still not entirely sure where they would tie into the Poths. Mia's mom has been really helpful. Benjamin is the father to both Christine and David, full siblings. All are still alive, with Benjamin in his 80s, so that's the Benjamin I've already found. I'm still mightily confused as to how my closest relative here is an octogenarian, but at least I know for certain who it is. My DNA shared with Benjamin, David, Christine, and Mia is congruent with the relationships that Mia's mom knows, so this is the family. She told me that Christine, David, and Benjamin were all unlikely to respond to me, but did not elaborate. She said that she would reach out to Benjamin and see if he knows anything. I also heard back from Rene, and what a tale she has to tell. She knows exactly how I feel, as she had to do the exac...

I keep feeling like I am so close to figuring this out, yet so far away. The Amato end of the family continues to be an enigma, but I've had a couple minor breakthroughs. Unfortunately, I fear this creates more questions than answers. As I've previously noted, the paternal tree seems to have two main groups. One group is the Poths, where I have one line that I've traced out nicely and have the likely branch where I fit, with Mansley as my probable grandfather. This second group I've traced back to Edward Poth as the likely great grandfather. The other group consists of multiple cousins: Benjamin, a likely first or second cousin; Christine, Rene, and David, likely second or third cousins; and Mia, a likely second or third cousin (but far more distant than the other three). In all the DNA matches I have, I share significantly more DNA with Benjamin than with any other. I had previously contacted Christine, but never heard back from her; the rest of this family seemed...

Holding true to my promise to my hobag mother, I have completed the first step in making this public knowledge. Today, I told my "father" the news. Similar to his family, he is in denial; none of them truly understand how DNA works, so they just don't understand how someone can spit in a tube, get this information, and be so confident in it. They seem to think it's possible for someone to be 25% Swedish with a child that is zero, and that the error rate for such technology is high and the results can't be trusted. Granted, they all also believe Mango Mussolini was and still is a great president, so I suppose this shouldn't be surprising. I am glad I waited as long as I did to tell him, though. When he asked if I had verified the results, I was able to tell him that I used two different companies and they both agree with the relatives I share, which do not include members of his family. I even showed him the family trees I've built out and who it says I...

Things are getting busy in this search, and over the past few days, I've had four different conversations going at once. First - queen of the cunts and root of the problem. My mother. She continues to not acknowledge my requests or that this situation is occurring at all. It is INFURIATING. I might have asked her if she couldn’t tell me who my father was because she didn’t know. That was met with some serious rage, and apparently I’m inconsiderate and toxic. I might have laughed at her and told her I learned from her. I told her I would take things public if I needed, and had no problem airing her dirty laundry, potentially in a very unflattering way, if she continued to refuse to give me answers. Response? “Ok.” Fine, bitch. It’s on. Second: Pam. Pam has been a family friend for a long time. She also went to nursing school with my mother. It turns out, my mother graduated nursing school in May 1982. I was born in February 1983. That’s easy math. Pam confirms my moth...