Continued radio silence from my mother after her initial extremely weak denial. Her reputation and public perception have always mattered more to her than anything else, so I'm not expecting much. Growing up, my little brother was always the clear favorite, despite the fact that I was the straight-A student and rarely in trouble until I hit high school. In my defense, my "trouble" was more amusing shenanigans or that of a willful child intolerant of stupid rules; I didn't drink, I didn't party, I had zero interest in drugs and little in boys. I planned to get the hell out and go to college and none of that nonsense was going to stop me.

I have no idea what my “father” knows. But I do know he spoke to my mother the same day I confronted her, and he was sober at 3pm, a feat in and of itself. I have not discussed any of this with him, nor do I plan to anytime soon.

I have located a daughter of Ronnie, Brandy. She seems like a really cool chick, and has agreed to submit a DNA test to see if we match.

This past Monday, I submitted a sample to Ancestry - it’s supposed to be a larger database, and maybe I'll find some more relatives there to help my search. We shall see what secrets it holds. Unfortunately, I have to wait 6-8 fucking weeks for processing. It’s murder.

Curious facts I’ve learned from Brandy about her father:
- he had poor eyesight and a deep love for horses. I share both of these with him and with no one in my immediate family.
- Brandy’s mother was not even slightly surprised at the possibility that he had fathered more than the known three children
- he was short, as am I; my “father” is close to 6ft and my brother is as well, with all of my paternal cousins also being a fair bit taller than me.
- all of his kids, like me, have ADD and dyslexia

Obviously nothing to hang my hat on, but interesting for certain.

I won't lie, and perhaps it makes me a horrible person, but it's more than a bit satisfying seeing her self-righteous, holier-than-thou self fall from grace. Especially with such a spectacular thud. This at least should eliminate her lazy, half-assed attempts to "move past" what she did in 2016, with her judgement, siding with her little masseuse friend. Really, she just wanted me to forget about it and move on, like nothing ever happened. Sorry, I wasn't raised to ever consider that an option, and I ain't starting now. Life is too short to spend it with people ashamed of you who won't have your back.

This nonsense doesn’t change who raised me, and honestly, it’s not my dirty laundry - it’s hers. A giant fucking 37 year lie. And she continues to lie. A few Andersons know what's going on, and I have been reassured that this changes nothing for them. They're good people. They're still family, even if not blood. I'd really like to know what the rest of my DNA is like, though, if I can figure it out.